Have you ever found yourself saying, “I need a break from parenting?” It’s funny… we’re allowed to talk about how we face burn-out in our professional lives, but what about when it comes to parenting? Next weekend, my husband and I are taking our first trip away together since having our second daughter. We’ve been on family trips since her birth, but we haven’t gone anywhere alone together. And if you want to know the truth, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m VERY excited to get a break from parenting.
I feel like those are bad words to some: “I need a break from parenting.” I’m not supposed to say that, right? I did miss Naomi terribly when we were away from her those few times we traveled without her before Tova arrived, but I always felt like I was a better parent when I got to step away from my parenting self for a little while. Does that shock you? It shouldn’t. Maybe it’s not talked about much, but I bet more moms than less have thought, every now and then, “I really need a day off.”
Something I realize about myself later in life is that I’m actually an introvert. I love to see my friends, I love to help others, and I love to plan events, but I’m actually the kind of person whose energy gets drained being around large groups of people. I usually come home from parties and events completely exhausted. And that doesn’t mean I don’t like to be with my friends and family, it just means I need alone time to recharge too.
And with kids in the picture, there’s literally zero alone time. I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s the thing I miss most about my pre-parent self: my solitude. I’ve finally made peace with this fact, and I try to schedule in alone time when I can, but it’s not the same. And I try to give myself the grace to know that it’s ok to miss that time and not feel guilty about missing it either. It’s something I really need to be my best self. I’m lucky to have a husband who understands this about me.
Sometimes I relish in the quiet solitude of my business and my blog, when Naomi’s at school and Tova is napping. When the house is completely quiet, and I can hear myself think. And sometimes, on really hard and loud days, I think to myself, “I don’t know if I can do this.” And admitting these things isn’t easy, because we’re supposed to want to be with our kids all the time, right? Aren’t we supposed to miss them when they’re napping, and wait patiently for them to wake up so we can see their smiling faces again?
And on the flip side, my kids are the best thing that ever happened to me. I do miss them when they sleep (sometimes), and I do miss them when I’m working, and sometimes I even leave work to go get a fix. But I know that it’s okay to need a break every now and then. When I take a little break, even a 10 minute rest in my bed, I come up for air feeling recharged, like I can take on the rest of my day and be a good & present parent to my two little ladies.
and it’s okay for you to need one too.
Do you ever feel like you need a break from parenting? What do you do to recharge?
Photography by Kyle Weber Photography
So adorable !! Love this! xx, gracie
snappedbygracie.com
I totally relate to that. My little one is only 7 months old but he is sometimes so demanding! I never realised how parenthood would be that difficult but I am so happy I have him. The thing is that when we do something without him, part of me is super happy (hurrah, back to life LOL) but a big part of me really misses him! So complicated!!!! But you are right to say that we should not feel guilty of wanting to be away from our children. #sharetheloveblog
Breaks are what keep me sane and makes me a better mother in the long run! Great read, you were spot on!!
I could not agree more with this post. It is so hard to be alone and not feel guilty but I NEED that time for my sanity!
Same here! I go crazy without my alone time!
I can completely relate to this. I think that many of us feel that guilt all to we’ll when we do admit to needing that time, but I think it is only natural and it makes us better parents if we can do that.
Oh momma I can relate on every level. Being a mom is so much work and sometimes I feel we don’t get enough credit. I have 3 boys now and I definitely do not feel guilty when I need a break. I know I will come back refreshed and ready to be a better mommy.
I don’t have children but am definitely sharing this with my best friends who are moms. I hope you enjoy your trip with your husband!
Greta | http://www.gretahollar.com
My little boy is almost 4 and has Autism which brings daily challenges. Along with the intensive parenting & therapy he needs he also doesn’t sleep. I also run my business from home so sometimes feel as though I need to step away for a few hours. We all need a little break every now & then
I’m not a parent yet, but I feel like if I didn’t get a break every now, I’d go absolutely nuts and wouldn’t be the best version of myself to my son/daughter.
Wonderful post!! This is such a great topic and I love how you wrote it. Have a wonderful time on your trip!
xo,
Sara Kate Styling
Really great post! I definitely can relate with 3 boys! I miss them when they are sleep too lol but, man I need a break every day.. usually that is nap time, but I take one night a week where I get out for a few hours with my husband or a friend!
I couldn’t agree more with needing a break. When it was just my daughter I feel like we barely left her in someone elses care. Once my son came into the picture I knew I would lose it if I didnt get a break. The best thing my husband and I did was take a vacation away together. It was the most amazing week where we got to reconnect. Now I make sure I get days to myself.
Great post!
Beautiful and so very honest. I’m not sure why it’s looked at as a bad thing to need a break. I look at it like the oxygen mask situation-I must be staying afloat myself before I can save someone else, including my child. And sometimes, parenthood leaves me feeling like I’m drowning. And, it’s okay to admit it. I hope you enjoy your trip!! <3
It’s funny how the world has this notion of what we as parents should or should not do. I feel that it’s important to be away from your children some times. It teaches them a lot of things, and it lets you keep your sanity. My son is in preschool for the first time, and I miss him like crazy when he’s in school, but I also have realized how much I can get done when he is there. I can think, I can focus on my blog, or work or clean, I can have a little bit of time to myself, before he gets home and I have no time. It’s ok to have time away from your children. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a parent that realizes that sometimes if you want to stay sain, you need to take care of yourself as well as your children. And I’ve realized that as my child gets older, he values his time to himself and playing with his toys in his room, and when I am done doing what I need to do, then we spend quality time together. Great post.
Nothing wrong with needing a break every now and again. I’m happy that you’ll get some alone time as a couple.
I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth Esther! I am the same way and I need to take a break from my kids in order to love and appreciate them more. 😉
Yes x 1000!! Enjoy your vacation, I hope it’s wonderful and relaxing!
Yes mama you do need a break and don’t feel guilty about it. I think it can be really hard at times for us mamas to live balanced lives, especially when they are little. We are mama’s 24/7 365, but we are also wives, sisters, daughters and friends. I hope you get that alone time you cherish to refuel you when you need it. 🙂
Enjoy your trip too!
xo, Nicole
I think parenting guilt is totally a big deal to people-and it’s okay to need a break! Everyone needs a break from something, and taking a break from your kids teaches them to be more independent and to take a break when they need one too.