Saying “yes” is a scary thing. It means you’re potentially doing something that people can judge and criticize you for. It means getting dressed and getting off the couch. It almost always means making a commitment. And isn’t it so much easier just to say no? How often do we turn things down that are a little out of our comfort zone? We don’t take that opportunity, RSVP “yes” to that event, take on a new challenge because we’re afraid. Afraid that we can’t carry the weight of something important on our shoulders, and afraid people won’t like it even if we do try. And if they don’t like what we do, then they don’t like us, right? I posit that most of us have felt that way at one point or another.
In my 20’s, I made saying “yes” a priority. I jumped on opportunities, and did things I was a little afraid of. It made me more aware of which opportunities were worth my time and which ones were not. I’ll be honest: I took on some things that either didn’t pan out or didn’t live up to my expectations, but it taught me a lot about commitment and follow-through. It’s not always easy to say yes, but it’s often a lesson in perseverance and dedication. And usually, all of those yeses lead to something greater. Today, I’m a little more picky and don’t say yes quite as much (since I’m saying yes to a 17-month-old all day long), but I still live my life that way, saying yes when it’s important, even when I’m scared or tired or would rather say no.
How many opportunities have you passed on because you were too scared, or didn’t feel ready? Too tired? Too busy? There are things we all tell ourselves, excuses we make to make saying no more palatable. “I’ll do x, when I save more money/finish that other project/the baby grows up a little more…” There will always be a thousand reasons why not to do something; the challenge is talking yourself INTO doing something hard or scary.
In Tina Fey’s book she talks extensively about how she learned to “say yes” through improv training. From an article in O Magazine: “’Say yes, and you’ll figure it out afterward’ has definitely helped me to become more adventurous. It has definitely helped me be less afraid.” So from here on out, try this: say “yes” to meetings over coffee with the potential new business connection. “Yes” to lunch with a new friend. “Yes” to starting your own business. “Yes” to going to that new place you’ve been wanting to go. “Yes” to ridiculous-sounding dreams that you probably think can’t come true. The old adage is true: “The fun is always on the other side of a yes.”
Would you agree? Should we (almost) always say yes?
