Yesterday, my daughter’s first day of school, was one of my harder days as a mom. I have a fairly independent, strong-willed (albeit very happy!) child, and considering how the day went down, it was surprising and upsetting to me and made me question the job I’m doing. That sounds dramatic, and it is. Because I KNOW I’m not a bad mom by any means, but seeing your kiddo upset… well it ain’t easy.
As I mentioned in a post a couple of days ago, I was SO excited for her, and we’d been talking a lot about school to get her excited too. When the day came to take her, I admit it, I was nervous. And I think some of my & her dad’s nervous energy rubbed off on her, because she just did not want us to leave. She clung to my husband’s leg crying “dada!” and I had to physically remove her from him. She screamed and cried as we left, but I felt confident that once we were a distant memory, she’d be the smiley, happy girl we know.
Then I get a phone call to pick her up.
She never really calmed down, and she’d been screaming on and off all day.
I was sad. Picking her up was sad. She cried and yes, I cried a little. I talked to several friends about it yesterday who went through separation anxiety with their toddlers, and it was so helpful to hear their stories. It put things in perspective that this is just temporary, and before I know it she’ll be loving school and running through the door without saying goodbye. If you’re one of those friends, you know who you are and thank you. I really hope that’s the case.
The good news is it can only get better. And armed with some different strategies for Friday (she goes 3 days/week), hopefully we’ll both be better prepared.
Did you go through separation anxiety with your kids? How did you deal with it?
I really struggled with separation anxiety with my older kids. And I got phone calls at work where we tried to figure out what to do. Having a comfort item was something that helped. And having open communication with caregivers/teachers was vital.
I have a hard time with my kiddos being at school (they are older 5th grade & 2nd grade). I think that they pick up on the nervousness and anxiety of it all. I try to reassure myself that they will be fine and so excited to tell me about their day, and it makes me feel better which in turn makes them not so nervous. Thanks for linking up at the Bloggers Brags party, I pinned your post to our group board.
Gracious, yes! My son and I both went through separation anxiety when he first started preschool. It was rough. And for three years it never got any easier and that’s when we decided to move him to a different preschool. That made all the difference for us. The teacher would grab Mason’s attention the minute we walked in the door and would engage with him. She knew that drop off was a hard time for us both, so she would do things that she knew that he would enjoy to make that transition easier for us. That school was a blessing for us! Hang in there Mama, it’s bound to get better! Ps – picking up on the negative energy is for real! I have to always remind myself of that one with our son.
I never really struggled with separation anxiety…. just the moments leading up to it. After the drop off I was fine 🙂 I knew God had them in his hands! Praying it gets easier for you mama!
My little guy started two day a week preschool last year, and I totally broke down when I dropped him off! He, however, had no problem leaving me, lol. Every day gets easier, Mama!
Oh dear, I’m so sorry you both experienced that! My daughter was so eager for preschool (she saw her brother in school and wanted to follow in his footsteps). But I got calls once a week/every other week to pick her up. But now, starting kindergarten, she’s doing amazing! Hang in there!
You are so brave! I’m dragging my toddler going to school and she’s not even one yet! I know… I know! I will probably be the crying and screaming one instead of my kid. I hope things start to get better and please share with us any tips that you find helpful to make the transition easier 🙂
My middle daughter had the hardest time starting kindergarten… She would literally get sick to her stomach every day for the first few weeks. She had so much anxiety about leaving and it just broke my heart. She is now in 3rd grade and pretty outgoing and has no problem whatsoever hopping out of the car in the morning and running onto campus to find her friends. Hang in there, it gets easier:) Thank you for sharing, and your photos are beautiful btw!
OH THIS WAS US. T’s transitions have always been tough. Legitimate hiccup crying and crocodile tears. after 2 weeks of sloop progress, he’s shoving me out his classroom door! your daughter is so crazy cute and I know she’s gonna rock it at school soon. 😉
Poor baby! I’m so glad to know things get better. If there’s anything I know for sure about parenting and life in general is that it’s always changing. Something new every day. ❤️
yep! i had that anxiety as well! and you know, they say that it gets easier as you have more children but it doesn’t. i cried when i dropped my 2nd off for her trial day. i sobbed on the phone with my brother and he told me it was ok to cry and that moms aren’t in a competition for who cries the least. of course i laughed but he’s right. it’s normal. these are our little people that we’ve created.
All of my kids struggled with separation anxiety at some level. When I was working and had to drop them off, if they were so upset I would stay. I’d stay until they knew it was ok. We would play and one of the daycare workers would sit with us. Things got better and they loved it. Things will get better and she will be loving it before you know it.
I’m so glad things got better! We’re all “1 step forward, 2 steps back” over here… Ready for it to get better!
Poor sweet thing… what a big change for her! We’ve been going to church and the YMCA since our little guy was small so lucky for me, he is used to being away from me just a bit almost every day. That’s not to say we don’t have hiccups. He starts school in November and I’m anxious to see how he does away from me for 3 hours, 2 days a week.
I hope today was a better experience!